


Matters of His Heart

by SilverStreak_928



Category: Legendborn - Tracy Deonn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, M/M, slight jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28397742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverStreak_928/pseuds/SilverStreak_928
Summary: Sel remembered the first time he ever laid eyes on Nick. His breath had been taken away. Nick was the textbook definition of the perfect guy. He was kind, heroic, smart, handsome. What started out as jealousy soon gave way to a massive crush.And just his luck, Sel would be bonded to Nick for life. He had been taught that the only thing he should feel was loyalty to his King. It was hard enough trying to control the demon inside of him. But trying to contain his feelings for Nick on top of that, something was bound to snap.ORAfter Bree leaves the order, Sel and Nick are forced to come to terms with some old feelings that have been buried since they were children.
Relationships: Nick Davis/Selwyn Kane
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am only basing this story off of the book. I don't know much about King Arthur and the knights of the round table, so I'm sorry if I get anything wrong. This story is also Canon Divergence, so not everything will be accurate to the book. Hope you enjoy the story!

"Nick!" My head is screaming and my throat is tight. Nick is in danger. A hellsnake emerges out of the forest and it has Nick wrapped up in its coils. I leap at the hellsnake without thinking about it. I let the aether swell up inside me and allow the demon's rage to take over.

The hellsnake drops dead and releases Nick. I move to help him but Bree gets to him first.  _ Ugh, the girlfriend. _ I watch jealously as Bree dotes over Nick. I can't help but think that it should be me taking care of Nick. Instead, it's some mystery girl. Tor gives me a strange look. I turn and stalk back to the lodge.

I practice my violin, hoping to get rid of the jealousy that gnaws at my stomach.

"That's a nice song," I whirl around, aether at the ready. Tor leans against the door frame. I mentally slap myself. How could I allow myself to become so distracted?

"Relax, I'm just here to talk," Tor walks in without waiting for an invitation. She sits on my bed and motions for me to join her. 

"What do you want to talk about?" I say, making sure she knows that I'm annoyed.

"When are you going to tell Nick how you feel?"

"Umm, how about never?"

"Sel, you have to tell him…"

"No, Tor, I don't. Nick hates me, he has a girlfriend, and Kingsmages aren't allowed to be with a first-rank," I sigh, "are we done here?" Tor stands up and moves to leave.

"I think you're making a mistake,"


	2. Chapter 2

Nick's POV

I love Bree. I really do. But I can't stop thinking that Bree is hiding something from me. I try to push the idea away because if Bree knew something she would tell me, right?

Turns out I was way wrong. 

I pull into my parking spot at the lodge. I had just gotten back from dropping my dad at his house. The entire drive I worried about Bree. Vaughn had broken her collarbone and she was passed out in my room. Or at least that's what I thought.

I open the door to find Bree and Sel. Bree's crying and Sel has his hand on her shoulder. We all look at each other for a second.

"What the hell happened?" I say breaking the silence.

Bree wipes her eyes, "I need to go,"

"Bree, what happened? Are you okay?" Bree tries to shove past. 

"I can't be here,"

"Bree, talk to me!" I'm becoming desperate. I grab her wrist and try to pull her back into the lodge.

"Let go of me!" Red mage flames flare up around her and I'm thrown back. We look at each other in shock.

"You can use aether? Why didn't you tell me?" Bree runs away.

Sel offers a hand to help me up. I shove his hand away.

"Nick…" I storm upstairs. 

As I lay in bed, I try to find a reason for why Bree didn't tell me. I am left clueless. I fall asleep soon after.

_ Nick is sitting on the porch step of his old house. The sun is bright. A few feet away Sel plays his violin. Both boys are around 13 years old. Sel sets his violin in the case. He moves to sit next to Nick. _

_ "That was a nice song," Nick says. _

_ "Thanks," _

_ The following minutes are deadly silent.  _

_ "Nick…" Nick looks at Sel with a smile. _

_ "Yeah?" Out of nowhere, Sel kisses Nick. Nick pulls back in surprise. Aether swirls around Sel, then Nick blacks out. _

I bolt upright. What. The. Hell. I recall the dream with ease. The dream feels more like a memory. Except, I remembered that day and Sel most certainly did not kiss me. But the dream felt so real. 

Then, it hit me. It was totally in the realm of possibilities to break a mesmer. After all, Bree could. There's only one way to find out.


	3. Chapter 3

Sel's POV

I couldn't sleep. My mother could still be alive. Maybe I could find her. But now was not the time to think about it, especially when it is 2:43 am and my door is being pounded on by somebody who has no common decency.

I stand up and open the door, "what?" I ask grouchily. To my surprise, Nick stands before me.

(it should be noted that Nick, who has very nice abs, was wearing some pajama bottoms and nothing else.) (It should ALSO be noted that Sel was very, very aware of that fact and was incredibly self-conscious about it, no matter what he said otherwise)

"We need to talk, _now,"_ Nick walks into my room without my permission. ( _Why_ _do people keep doing that?)_

"You mesmered me," Nick says angrily.

"What?!" I most certainly did not.

"You mesmered me when we were 13 and I want to know why!" Nick raises his voice, so I raised mine.

"I don't know what to say, I didn't mesmer you!" 

Nick takes a deep breath, then lowers his voice, "Is there any… is there a way you could have mesmered yourself?" 

"I mean, there is a way, but I would have to be incredibly desperate," I'm becoming frustrated. What was Nick trying to get at?

"Can you please just tell me what's going on?" I ask. Nick tells me this story of how I kissed him and then mesmered him. The only problem is that I don't remember any of what he's telling me. 

"That's why I think you mesmered yourself," Nick finishes explaining. 

"I would definitely be desperate enough to forget it," I say to myself.

"What? It was that bad of a kiss?" Nick jokes softly. I shoot him a glare then pretend that I didn't hear it. A quick mesmer scan should answer the problem. Sure enough, I see my sign embedded in the back of his and my head. I mesmered both of us. Everything he just said is true.

I stand up and start pacing, "arggghhh! I don’t need this right now!" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't…" 

"No, it's not your fault. I made a dumb mistake years ago and now it's coming back to bit me in the a**," 

Nick gets up to leave, "did you know about Bree's aether?" The question surprises me but he deserves the truth.

"Yes, I knew,"

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Because she should have told you and I thought she would. But clearly, I was wrong," Nick looks like he might break. He starts to leave again, "Nick, wait. There's something else you should know. We… I broke into your old house,"

"Our old house? What would you need?" Nick interrupts.

"I thought there was a mole in the system. I thought that maybe your dad would have a file on it,"

"Oh… thank you for telling me," Nick leaves. 

Why? Why did it have to be now? I just know my life is going to get ten times more complicated.

Nick's POV

I lay in my bed and think about what Sel told me. Even though Sel tried to cover it up, I know that it was Bree's idea. I knew Bree was getting restless and wanted answers. I kept telling her to wait, and she went to Sel instead. What hurts the most isn't her not telling me. It's the fact that it was supposed to be me. She was supposed to come to  _ me _ and  _ we _ were supposed to break into  _ my _ old house.

For the first time that night, I let myself cry.


	4. Chapter 4

Sel POV

It's been two days since Bree left. I watch in pain as Nick pushes everyone away. He sits in his room most of the time and only comes out to eat. Tonight, I decided to check on him. 

I open the door to see Nick silently crying. He quickly wipes away the tears when he sees me. 

"Hey," recently, Nick has sounded cold and distant. But his soft voice takes me by surprise.

"Hey," I reply. I take a step closer. An awkward silence falls around the room. Nick is giving me a weird look that I can't quite decipher.

"Nick?" His hand is gripping my shirt, pulling me close. His lips press against mine and he pulls onto the bed.

It's a good thing that everyone was gone today.


	5. Chapter 5

I avoided Nick after… what happened. It was an accident; it had to be. Nick was upset and hurting after Bree left. He was just trying to get over her, that's all. 

But if that was the case, why did Nick keep giving me strange looks when we saw each other? Why did Nick keep showing up wherever I went?

I sit in the library, trying to read. I can feel Nick's gaze on me. I sigh, then slam the book shut.

"What do you want?" I snap.

"Hmm?" 

"You've been following me around and acting all weird. I'm done with it. So what do you want?" I expect Nick to snap back at me or get defensive. Instead, his defenses lower and I'm surprised by the blush that rises to his cheeks.

"Well… um… I was thinking about… that night and…" Nick stammered.

"I get it. It was an accident, and you weren't in the right headspace. It won't happen again," Nick's eyes widen. My wall cracks as I catch myself thinking about how gorgeous his blue eyes are.

"I was actually going to say the opposite," Nick says. He notices a crack in my wall and smirks. I hate when he gets cocky. He gets up and makes his way towards me. I tense up as Nick gets incredibly close. 

"Do you like me?" Nick asks innocently. 

"No," I sound confident but my eyes dart to the side. Nick immediately picks up on it.

"The truth, Sel. Do you like me?" our eyes meet. It was times like these that made me hate and love Nick. He could immediately tell when something was off with me. Any time I was angry, sad, or even happy, Nick always seemed to pick up on it. It made it almost impossible to lie to him, especially when it came to matters of the heart.

"Yes," I snap.

"Good," Nick's hand brushes against my cheek and he leans in to kiss me.

"Nick! What are you doing?" I push Nick away, "you know we can't do this again,"

"Why not?" Nick tilts his head in a mischievous way that implies that he knows exactly why but doesn't care.

Nick's POV

I know exactly why. Rule one was that a Kingsmage can't date a first-rank. But I don't really care. 

I had never really taken the time to think about Sel as anything but an obstacle. For so long, all I wanted to do was escape my destiny; I wanted to ignore Arthur's call. Sel was just one more thing keeping me tied to the order. But when Bree arrived I was forced to accept my fate, as well as Sel's protection. After that, I started noticing little things about Sel, like how he picked at his black nail polish when he was anxious, or how he would run his hand through his hair when he was annoyed. I thought little about these things; I was too enamored by Bree. Now she's gone and somehow, all I can think about is Sel.

Sel is rambling on about all the reasons we can't be together. I'm not paying any attention; I'm too busy staring at his lips.

"I think we should go on a date," I blurt.

"Did you not hear a thing I just said?!" Sel screeches. I almost start laughing at the reaction. Sel runs his hand through his hair and looks away, "Fine. One date,"


	6. Chapter 6

Sel and I meet up at a bar outside a couple of miles out of town. We decided that it would be better if no one knew of our little date night.

I find Sel leaning against a railing; his hands are in the pockets of his black jeans. He wears a matching black shirt. I try to think of a time where Sel wasn't wearing black. I wonder what he would look like if he wore white or a bright color, like yellow.

"So are we just going to keep staring at each other, or are we going in?" Sel said snarkily. We make our way into the bar and order some beer and whiskey. 

We get to talking. As it turns out, Sel isn't always grouchy and sarcastic. I've always regretted not getting to know Sel when we were younger. Sure, I could tell when Sel was lying to me, but I didn't know much about his hobbies or pet peeves. But now was my chance to make up for my mistakes.

I was surprised to learn that he loves reading; his favorite book is The Book Thief. He's also really into history.

The drunker we get, the more personal our questions become. Eventually, my curiosity gets the better of me.

"What happened to your parents?" I ask. Sel looks a little uncomfortable about the question. I start to say that he doesn't have to answer, but he cuts me off.

"I never knew my father. But my mother, as I recently found out, was the previous Kingsmage,"

"For my father? But Isaac is my dad's Kingsmage," I definitely did not expect this kind of news. 

"I can't remember her too well. She died when I was too young to remember her. But when Bree and I went to your house, we found a file. According to the file, my mother opened the gate for the hellhounds to get through. So right now she's dead or rotting in a prison cell," he takes a sip of his beer.

"I'm so sorry, Sel," I reach out to squeeze his hand, but he pulls his hand away. 

"It's not your fault,"

"I know, but no child should have to go through that,"

"You did," and that was the hard, bitter truth. Who knew if they would ever see their mothers again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure all the things that I said Sel likes is completely wrong, so... sorry.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sel's POV**

The next days after the date were… complicated. Dating Nick was something entirely alien to me. It was almost impossible to keep their relationship a secret from the rest of the order, especially when Nick kept pulling me into little rooms to make out or talk in private. Nick also seemed to love physical affection. He was constantly throwing his hand around my shoulders or holding my hand under the table.

I'm pretty sure the other Scions and Pages were becoming suspicious. But if they knew, they haven't said anything. I'm more surprised that my bond hasn't burned a hole in my throat; after all, it is against the rules for a Merlin and a first rank to be together. Maybe it was just a rule made up after King Arthur's death and it had nothing to do with my bond. 

Tonight is the party where the Scions will choose their squires. I promised Nick that I would keep the relationship on the down-low at the party, so that meant no dancing together, I still can't decide whether or not that's a good thing. I dress in all black, as I always do. I catch Nick's eye from across the ballroom. My breath catches in my throat because, well, he looks so damn hot. I immediately regret my promise to him.

I make my way to a corner. A second later, Nick comes over to me. 

"Hey, handsome," Nick keeps his voice low, so as not to attract any attention. 

"Hey,"

"I'm really regretting making that promise," I nod in agreement, "just know that you owe me a dance later," Nick then proceeds to make jokes about several of the old, rich, snooty guests that fill the room. I try to hide my smile. Just by chance, one of those old, rich, snooty guests walks over to our corner in an attempt to start a conversation with Nick. Much to my dismay, Nick is led off to a group of social elites. I wander around the room, making small talk with friends and grabbing little appetizers off of the serving trays. The chatter dies down and I turn my head to look at the doorway of the room. 

Bree walks in and even I have to admit, she really pulled herself together. Nick appears in front of her.

"Bree…?" Nick says, almost breathlessly. I feel a rush of possessiveness rush through me. Bree shouldn't be here. She was supposed to be out of the picture. Nick was supposed to be mine. I push those thoughts away as Nick and Bree take to the dance floor. Eventually, Nick is pulled away and I sweep in.

"So, you came back after all," I say as I twirl Bree.

"I came to say goodbye, officially," she replies, "so are you and Nick a thing now?" I detect a hint of jealousy in her voice.

My eyes narrow in suspicion, "what did he tell you?" 

She smirks, "he didn't tell me anything, but he kept looking at you when we were dancing,"

"Oh,"

"Not to mention, you didn't deny it when I brought it up," 

"Yeah, well, it's not like we can date officially," I say bitterly.

"Why not?"

"It's a part of my oath to Nick; a Kingsmage is not allowed to be with a first rank,"

"That's a little homophobic, isn't it?" 

"It has nothing to do with sexuality," I start to get defensive, "it's thought that if a Kingsmage and a first-rank are together, the Kingsmage won't be able to focus on their task at hand,"

"I guess that makes sense," Bree muses. I see Nick in my peripheral vision. He has a slight frown as he watches Bree and I dance. I wonder if he's jealous of me or Bree, or maybe both

"But if it's a part of your oath, shouldn't you be dead?" My eyes snap back to Bree. 

"I should be, but here I am," the song ends and I immediately drop her hands. Lord Davis walks onto the stage and makes a quick speech. Then, the Scions choose their squires. As Nick approaches the center stage, the room tenses up. It makes sense, Nick is basically the king; who he chooses could change everything. 

The crowd bursts into a rage as Nick calls upon Bree. Of course, I should have known Nick would choose Bree. One woman, Vaughn's mother, gets in Bree's face, claiming that it should have been her son instead of Bree. Nick, Bree, and I all lock eyes. I sweep Bree up and run out of the room. Nick isn't far behind. We head to Nick's room, hoping to escape the mob of angry mothers and fathers. 

I might be jealous of Bree, but I certainly don't want her to get clawed to pieces. Besides, throughout all the hours of training, she had become like a little sister to me.

"Sel, can I talk to you?" Nick asks. I nod and we head over into the hallway. 

"Are you mad at me? For choosing Bree as my squire?"

"Of course not," I assure him.

Nick brings a hand to my cheek, "are you sure?" I nod, "I know things are kind of weird between the three of us and I don't want you to think that I'll go back to being with her,"

"Why don't you? I mean, you guys technically never broke up and we aren't even official,"

"We're official in my mind," I smile despite myself. Nick presses his lips to mine briefly but pulls away when we hear footsteps.

"Sir Nick? Your father has requested to see you in his office," A guest says as he rounds the corner. Nick nods then follows the guest. I turn around and pinch my nose. I replay Nick's last words to me. It had to be one of the cheesiest things he has ever said. But I smile anyway.

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Everything seems to happen at once. Bree goes missing, the portals open and suddenly we are being overrun by eichels. I take a group of Scions and squires to the forefront of the fighting. I fight as hard as I can but I soon grow tired. Our fight moved towards ogof y ddraig and Arthur's sword. 

Nick is already there, and it takes all my effort not to take him somewhere safe from all the eichels. I see Nick get thrown against a cave wall. Another eichel approaches Nick as Nick tries to regain his footing. I rush in front of him and throw the approaching eichel back. Bree meets up with us, already fighting an eichel that looks strangely like Evan. 

Several people die trying to protect Bree and Nick. I guess that must have been enough for King Arthur to finally call upon Nick because I get a massive headache. Thanks to my bond with Nick, I share his pain of bonding with Arthur. Clearly, he is getting the worst of it. Nick screams in pain and I rush over to him. Then, I hear a second scream. I turn to see Bree fall to the ground. I think she's been injured but then I see her grab Arthur's sword. I don't have time to wonder what is happening. More eichels arrive and I pull up as much aether as I can.

Finally, the fighting ends and all the survivors head back to the lodge. I pass out as soon as my head hits my pillow.


	9. Chapter 9

I pull my sheets closer and groan as the light floods through my curtains. I finally crack my eyes open when I remember exactly what happened last night. I have a strange feeling of dread that I can’t seem to shake. I need to find Nick and make sure that he’s alright. I slide out of my bed and walk down the hallway to check on Nick. I open his bedroom door, but he isn’t there. I start to panic. I try to convince myself that he’s just in Bree’s room but in the back of my mind I know I’m lying to myself. On my way to Bree’s room, I run into Tor. 

“Do you know where Nick is?” My voice is filled with panic, I hope she doesn’t notice. 

“You- you don’t know?” Tor is giving me a sympathetic look that infuriates me, “Nick- Nick’s dad took him,”

“What do you mean ‘took him’?” 

“Sel, his dad kidnapped him,”

“Why? What does he want with Nick? Why didn’t anyone tell me?!” Why didn’t I pay more attention? I was supposed to protect him. How could I have let my guard slip? I have an urge to break something in anger.   
  


“I think it might be best if you come to Bree’s room. She’ll explain everything,” I sigh, trying to calm down, and follow her over to Bree’s. 

Once Tor and I get there, Bree tells us, and the rest of the group, a story about how way back when Nick’s ancestor cheated on his wife with one of Bree’s ancestors. Then the wife cheated on her husband with the scion of Lancelot. In short, Bree is the true heir of Arthur and Nick is the scion of Lancelot. After several more questions, the group of scions and squires leave Bree to get some rest. I turn to leave as well, but Bree grabs my wrist.

“I want to go on a walk, but I'm pretty sure William would kill me if I went out without someone to watch me,” I smirk a little, knowing exactly how pissed William would be. 

We make our way outside and walk in silence. 

“So… I figured out why your oath hasn’t killed you yet,” Bree says in a joking tone.

“Oh really? And why’s that?”

“Nick was never a first-rank, and if I’m not wrong, a kingsmage and a second rank may be together, right?” I take a moment to think about it.

“I suppose you’re right,”

“Of course I am,” We fall back into our usual silence. 

I feel her hand on my shoulder, “We will find Nick, I swear,” Bree quietly promises.

I turn and give her a weak smile, “I know we will,” we have to find Nick, and when we do, Nick’s father will pay.


End file.
